It was about this time last year that we found out we were pregnant with Camilla. I don't think I've told many the story because it wasn't necessarily the easist time of my life. Although, this last year has had its ups and downs, it's been one of the best of my life. We never find out what we are capable of until we are tested. If we were never weak, we'd never learn to be strong. Without falling, we would not know how to get up. I am reminded of this time after time after time.
July 2012 we had a miscarriage. I was sad. I was upset. I was confused. I was heartbroken. I was so scared to even try to get pregnant again because I was so afraid of having another miscarriage and I did not think that I was emotionally ready to handle another heartbreak like that. After much prayer, we decided to try again. In December we found out we were pregnant. We were so happy! And I was terrified. A few days later, I ended up in the ER. After an ultrasound, the ER doctor determined I probably had an ectopic pregnancy. Heartbreak. Again. I immediately made an appointment with my OB. We had some tests done, some bloodwork done, and I was told all was probably okay. A couple of days later, I got a call from my doctor's office and they told us to come in to the office on Christmas Eve. CHRISTMAS EVE. All I thought was, "on a holiday?! That's NEVER a good sign!" John took my hand and told me to stay positive and that everything always finds a way to fix itself. No matter what the problem is. We went to our appointment and had our ultrasound. They found a cyst. And an 8 week old baby! CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! Everything seemed to be fine and our baby was growing.
Fast forward 8 months and we found out I was having some problems with my liver and we'd have to deliver early. I don't think I've ever been more scared in my life. I felt unprepared. I thought I had 3 weeks left to get everything (and myself) ready for this baby. We checked in to the hospital Saturday at 11:30 PM. 26 hours of labor later and Camilla was in our arms! The amount of love that I instantly had for this new human being was incredible. It's true, you just don't know until you have one of your own. I love this girl more than anything. I would give my life for her in an instant. She's been such a blessing for our family. She can be a nightmare. She can be a diva. She keeps me up all night and makes doing homework an impossible a feat as willing myself into outer space. But I wouldn't trade her for anything in this world. I can't imagine our lives without her.
Last month, we spent a couple of days at Primary Children's where we found out Camilla has kidney reflux. It's scary but we are blessed enough that it's not severe and we can moderate it with medication.
2013 also brought me a new job. I honestly applied for funsies. I never thought I'd get the job but lo and behold, God was looking down on us. It's an incredible opportunity for my family and I intend to make the most of it. Every day I'm reminded of how lucky I am to have my health and that John has his. We are both able to work and take care of one another and give Camilla the things she needs. While we may not be rich or roll around in 100 dollar bills, we have what we need and we have enough to help others when they need it.
2013, I'm thankful for the roller coaster you've provided so far. I've learned that John and I can get through anything if we trust in each other and the plan that God has for us and not the plan that WE have for each other. While I would have preferred to never go through the emotional strain of a miscarriage, I appreciate so much the miracle that Camilla is. While I wish I could stay home with Camilla, I'm grateful that John and I both have jobs, that we have a roof over our heads, we have cars to take us to work, we have health insurance for when we need it. I have an amazing family and incredible friends. Here's to 2014!I hope you are as exciting as was the year before you.
No comments:
Post a Comment