I will start by saying that I’ll probably come across as bitter, angry, envious maybe, but definitely annoyed at the recent onslaught of posts about stay at home motherhood. I’m just a nobody and I doubt anyone will care to read what I have to say. But, every single post has gone on and on and on and on and on about stay at home moms and their decisions to “do what’s right” and how the world would be lost if not for stay at home moms. How it is a full time job (which yes, I agree with), how more women should make the sacrifice to stay at home, how society greatly benefits from these heroes who choose to stay at home and sacrifice their lives to be with their little ones.
Well, good for them. I agree to a point about all of the greatness of stay at home motherhood. But I will not stand by while all of these people, some my friends, make those of us who HAVE to work feel guilty for having to work. I would love to be a stay at home mom, but that is not the situation I am in. Am I envious of those who can stay home? Yes. Do I wish I could stay at home with my beautiful little girl? Yes. Would it be the best thing for Camilla? Probably. Should I feel like a bad mom for trying to support her while my husband and I finish school? Absolutely not. Maybe I’m writing this to make myself feel better about having to leave my girl 4 days a week for 11 hours a day. Am I less of a mom because I don’t spend all day with my daughter? I don’t think so. Do I spend every hour I’m away from her wishing I was with her and scrolling through pictures of her on my phone? You bet. Do I worry that I’ll miss moments like the first time she crawls, her first steps, her first words? OF COURSE. Some of us don’t have the option of being a full time stay at home mom. But we are still full time, working moms. Just because I work for half of the day, does not mean that I stop being a mom for that part of the day. I get up every day, go to work for 10 hours, come home and pack a full day’s worth of mom stuff, into 4 or 5 hours. Cook, clean, laundry, homework while still finding time to play with Camilla so she knows, (even at her young, YOUNG age) that I love her and that she has my attention and affection.
My mom was always a working mom. But she was still MY MOM. I gained my hard work ethic from my mom. I learned how to cook from watching my mom. I learned how to clean, do laundry, from watching my mom. I learned how to be a mom from my mom. I learned how to sacrifice for my daughter from my mom. Am I a troubled human being because my mom had to work and couldn’t stay home with me? I don’t think so. Was my mom any less heroic than any other stay at home mom? You bet your ass she wasn’t. Do I think that stay at home moms have a difficult job? There is no doubt in my mind. But I think that working moms have it just a little bit harder. So this goes out to all of my working full time moms. I hope you don’t ever feel the way I have felt these last few weeks because of things you’ve read, seen, or heard. You are no less of a mom than any other mom. You work just as hard to raise your children, give them the love they need, teach them the lessons they need to learn, and I see it. Your families see it, your children see it. I’m not hating on my stay at home moms. I’m just defending those who may feel the way I do. That’s all. Moms are moms 24/7 no matter where they are.
